OUTLAW EAGLE MANUFACTURING

[HOOLIGAN]

-Little Johnny's at it again...... A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

-Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'

-The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Little Johnny quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'

-Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Little Johnny asked, " Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "


-Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ..'

[Arthur]

The Sweetness of Married Life


The newlyweds were only married two weeks, when the husband said to the wife, 'Honey I'm going to Hank's Tavern to have a beer, I'll be right back'.

'Where are you going, Coochy Coo?' asked the wife.

'I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face,' he answered. 'I'm going to have a beer....'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?' She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was,'Yes, Lollipop.... But at the bar..... You know.....they have frozen glasses...... '

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, 'You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?' She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long.. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'

'You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.

'But my sweet honey.... At the bar... You know there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'

'You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP, CHICKEN CHIT! SIT YOUR SORRY AZZ DOWN, SHUT THE HE!! UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES RIGHT HERE BECAUSE YOU'RE FREAKIN' MARRIED NOW AND YOUR SORRY AZZ IS SOO NOT GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT CHIT IS OVER! GOT IT, DUMBAZZ?'

And they lived happily ever after...

Isn't that a sweet story?


MARRIED LIFE .................
MAKES MY EYES TEAR UP!!!

[blowin crazy]

W ashing
I roning
F u@king
E cetera