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HOOLIGAN
Joined: 04 Mar 2008
Posts: 210
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 Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 12:21 pm Post subject: Blondes ..lol |
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A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting......
'What's up?' she asks.
'I think I'm having a heart attack,' cries the husband...
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, 'Mommy! Mommy! Aunty Shirley is hiding in your closet and she's got no clothes on!'
The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, rips open the closet door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.
'You rotten 'Bitch', she screams.
'My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids!!'
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Rock Skipper
Joined: 03 Sep 2009
Posts: 78
Location: BEAUMONT
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| Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 4:00 pm Post subject: |
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 if i was you, i would lie about ever sending that good story(up until the punch line)  you Hooligan
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HOOLIGAN
Joined: 04 Mar 2008
Posts: 210
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| Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 8:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Stroken with One Hand wrote: | | if i was you, i would lie about ever sending that good story(up until the punch line) you Hooligan |
???
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Rock Skipper
Joined: 03 Sep 2009
Posts: 78
Location: BEAUMONT
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 8:01 am Post subject: |
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What, no come back.
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HOOLIGAN
Joined: 04 Mar 2008
Posts: 210
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 1:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Stroken with One Hand wrote: | | What, no come back. |
I don't understand what you were getting at so I couldn't really reply. 
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RPM
Joined: 17 Dec 2006
Posts: 189
Location: Nechako
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| Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 12:12 pm Post subject: |
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Hooli like you said in your boat for sale thread , tough crowd on this site maybe his old ladies name is Shirley 
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Rick's Precision Machine
Prince George B.C.
Machining - Welding - Repairs |
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Arthur
Outlaw Eagle Admin
Joined: 28 Oct 2006
Posts: 1654
Location: On the rocks
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| Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 12:14 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm confused |
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Will R
Joined: 31 Jul 2005
Posts: 677
Location: NWT/Alberta
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| Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 12:59 pm Post subject: |
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momma said "life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get"  hahaha!too funny |
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HOOLIGAN
Joined: 04 Mar 2008
Posts: 210
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| Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 4:31 pm Post subject: |
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Call me crazy but..I assumed... that since I read this "joke" and laughed I would simply copy it and paste it here..for others to laugh...
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Will R
Joined: 31 Jul 2005
Posts: 677
Location: NWT/Alberta
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| Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 4:36 pm Post subject: |
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| damn good joke there Hoolie!i think strokin with one hand oughta quit strokin before he jerks himself retarded lmao |
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Rock Skipper
Joined: 03 Sep 2009
Posts: 78
Location: BEAUMONT
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| Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 12:24 pm Post subject: sorry guys |
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Looks like I touched a nerve, I just didn't think your joke was that good, my fault. I forgot about all the rednecks that own jet boats, I will watch what I say in the future.
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Hines
Joined: 05 Jul 2005
Posts: 304
Location: Red Deer
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| Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2009 8:55 am Post subject: |
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| Hey Hoolie,no more copy & paste shit from you or your boat lic. will be suspened for one month. Here's on did you here Evil Kinevil is coming out of retirement, he's dressing up as an alterboy & try and run across Nova Scotia. Haaaa. Hoolie keep the jokes coming the form has been pretty quite lately.Later. |
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HOOLIGAN
Joined: 04 Mar 2008
Posts: 210
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| Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2009 8:57 am Post subject: Re: sorry guys |
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| Stroken with One Hand wrote: | | Looks like I touched a nerve, I just didn't think your joke was that good, my fault. I forgot about all the rednecks that own jet boats, I will watch what I say in the future. |
That's ok Sport, us rednecks don't make the assumption that everyone shares our sense of humor. It wasn't the best joke . . granted but, maybe you just didn't understand it? Did you try reading it a few times? Did you have someone else read it for you? I know it was fairly lengthy and there is a possibility that maybe your train of thought got derailed for a moment and you missed something? Try reading it one more time ..just try it ..do it for me! But this time try to visualize the joke as it plays out. I'm really just trying to make everyone happy, that's my sole purpose on this planet. So after you read it again, let me know if it's still not funny to you and I will do my damnedest to find you a funny one. With that said I need to know what you find funny in the line of jokes.
- Racism
- Death
- Religion
- Starvation
- Politics
- Murder
- Incest
if I have missed anything in your genre please just reply with it and I'll find something for you to laugh at.
Hooli~
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HOOLIGAN
Joined: 04 Mar 2008
Posts: 210
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| Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2009 9:02 am Post subject: |
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| Hines wrote: | | Hey Hoolie,no more copy & paste shit from you or your boat lic. will be suspened for one month. Here's on did you here Evil Kinevil is coming out of retirement, he's dressing up as an alterboy & try and run across Nova Scotia. Haaaa. Hoolie keep the jokes coming the form has been pretty quite lately.Later. |
Boat license??? Shit!.... Good thing I gots me one of them 100 mile an hour type boats ..as long as I gots me an hour of fuel I should be ok ...
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Andrew
Joined: 24 May 2007
Posts: 23
Location: Edmonton
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| Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2009 5:45 pm Post subject: |
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In support of the Hooligan:
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back, and one by one began to tell their stories.
"Little Johnny, do you have a story to share ?"
"Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.
She quickly drank the whiskey on the way down, knowing it would shatter and go to waste otherwise,
and just then her parachute landed her right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.
She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke,
and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story ?"
"Stay the f^*k away from Aunt Karen when she's drinking."
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I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline
Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan
I told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
A$$holes... |
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